Monday, December 6, 2010

Love is subtle

You ever have those days where it feels like you just wake up and instantly Satan is just attacking you? Like he picked this one day to try and break you down? That was me one day last week. Instantly, from the point that I woke up, I just heard lies and questions began forming in my head. It starts off small, "You aren't very smart!", "There is no way you could accomplish anything!", and then it just rolls and grows, "Does anyone even like you?", "Would anyone even want to hang out with you?", What could you possibly achieve in life?", "No one loves you!" "Look at all the mistakes you've made!" "You are a failure!". All morning, through my math class, and my walk home, my mind was a war zone. A war zone where I felt like no one was helping defending me.

I remember praying as I walked to battle all of the lies I was hearing, pleading with God to help me. To open up my heart at that time I will share what I said. I believe my prayer went like this: "God, Dad, Friend, Is this all true? Why do I feel like this? Why would you allow anyone to say this? Show me that You love me right now because I need it. Send someone to me, to reaffirm that I am not alone, to reaffirm that You are with me, Be with me!"

I was on the verge of crying as I walked through campus and then back home, just trying to get to my bed as fast as I could. And then out of no where, literally in front of my neighbors front yard I feel a text come in on my phone. "Hey man, are you on campus right now?" responding with a "I could be soon", I continued to reach my front door proceed to my bed and let out everything I had been holding in. text back..."You want to go get in the Word together?" - - - "Um yes, yes I would."

After going and hanging out with him and reading the Word, and researching different aspects of the Bible, I was suddenly better. God answered everyone of my questions. Soon the rest of the day, which I had planned on skipping, was suddenly enjoyable. The rest of the weekend ended up reaffirming over and over how much God cared about me; How much God saw in me; How much God believed in me. On an encouragement paper that everyone wrote on, I received notes that turned everything around. "Your confidence, boldness, and desire to lead have blown me away. Your simply caring acts have touched my heart"...."The men are growing so strong and it all couldn't have happened without you leading in faith" . . . "Your doing an awesome time leading the men this year and building a community between all of us"

Love can seem like its being given in the most subtle of times, but it may have a huge impact on the person you are loving. You never know where the other person is at during that very moment. So next time you think that love isn't love unless its something big, remember that even a simple text message, a simple note, a simple time spent is all it takes to defeat the enemy of love.

Go out and love today


  1. I'm so glad He brought someone to you to dispel those lies! Scottie, let me assure you that you are one of the smartest people I know, that you will accomplish so many wonderful things in the Lord, and that I love hanging out with you, as does everyone else I know! You are very much loved and liked, my friend.

  2. Thanks for posting this and for being so vulnerable! Rest assured, all of us in Cru appreciate you and all the things you do. We all love you, even when you're rooting for the Ducks! ;) It's been great to see you step up and lead, even with some of the younger leaders. I didn't get the chance to write on your actual encouragement sheet, so consider this your virtual encouragement sheet post. :)

  3. I agree with the above comments! Also you are definitely very smart and funny! and a great leader for the men. Gods timing can be so amazing sometimes (most times), that text that came at the perfect moment was no mistake! Keep on trusting and growing in faith! I love reading your blog :)

  4. you are awesome, scottie. in spanish i would say "estas brutal". you are so talented, funny and kind. God has blessed you with amazing gifts and friends. you are well loved, i can surely tell you that. you were definitely a huge inspiration in my stay in Arizona and probably someone i'll remember for long time :D hopefully forever. keep writing awesome blogs and being a great man of God :-)